Almost Like Magic
by im.just.better.fictionally
Summary: "She couldn't be… pregnant? It was a one-night stand and she had been careful. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach as if check that her stomach hadn't suddenly doubled in size." C.J find out that she's pregnant. Set Mid-Season 1. C.J mainly. Possibly (probably) ending in Danny. C.J/Abbey Friendship.
1. Chapter 1

****Unfortunately I don't own these characters or the world that they live in. ****

 **It's almost like magic.**

The last thing C.J Cregg wanted to do this morning was a brief briefing. Tired, cranky and with her stomach performing nauseating flips she wished nothing more than to be lying in bed with a heat pack and some Tylenol. Because although working for the President had it perks, days off were unfortunately not one of these and despite the flu that she believed to be coursing through her body she still needed to brief. She laid her head on the table hoping for a few more moments of solitude before she was needed to address the hungry pack.

"C.J, I hate to rush you but it's 9:15 and the gaggle is getting restless," Carol warns her as she walk into her boss' office brandishing her with a folder of the days top news. News that C.J, despite her headache and rolling stomach, is expected to repeat and then be interrogated on by fifty different reporters. Carol, picking up on how her boss is feeling starts making alternative suggestions. "I mean, I could send out a press statement if you really are too sick. I just hate to do that because of the Lydells are co-"

"It's fine. _Really,_ I'm fine. I'll go now." The room spun as she stood up but determined to feed the clamoring horde that is the White House Press Corp she gave her body a moment to settle before grabbing the folder off Carol and making the short distance from her office and the podium. 

It has all been going fine until the Lydells were mentioned.

Her stomach had stayed quite for the first ten minutes and although her head was still pounding she had managed to joke with the room and respond to Danny with the kind of wit that she hoped would fool her audience. Suddenly though, as if to punish her for the mere thought of coming out here despite her bodies protest her stomach started to roll more violently than it had all morning. Quickly swallowing back any bile she turned her head to address Steve. Apparently though she had moved her head two quickly and it began to spin again. Not wanting to be the story of the week and knowing how embarrassing it would be if she displayed what she ate last week for the entire Press Corps she let Steve finish confirming the attendance of the Lydell's before discreetly motioning to Carol that she needed to wrap up.

C.J's body only protested more though as she stepped back from the podium with black dots warping her vision. Her arms reached out for something, _anything_ , to steady herself but with nothing but air available, she fell.

-

When her eyes flutter open she's not surprised to see Abbey Bartlet looming over her. In fact, she's more surprised to see that someone has obviously moved her to her couch than anything else.

"One of my Secret Service men, Hal," Abbey said as though she could read C.J's mind. "I assume you wanted to know how you got back here? Hal carried you."

"That's… embarrassing. Well, at least it's not as embarrassing as if it was one of the three stooges that I work with," C.J comments. It was bad enough that she had blacked out in front of the Press Corps let alone the image of Josh lifting her off the ground. "Thank Hal for me, would you?"

"I will, although you probably should know that those three stooges you mentioned certainly saw everything that happened. Josh looked like wanted to carry you." Abbey admitted as she got out of her bag several medical instruments.

"You really don't need to do this Abbey," C.J protested as Abbey checked her temperature. "A mixture of the flu and extremely bright lights did me in. I promise I won't allow it to happen again."

"It definitely won't be happening again, young lady. You'll be looking after yourself. Especially with the condition that you are in now," Abbey demanded, "Actually, I really would feel better of we went to the doctor."

"Abbey, I really think that you are over reacting. I have the flu." All she wanted to do was ask Abbey to leave, turn off the light, pull up the blanket that always hung on her couch and fall asleep.

"How long C.J are you going to call it the flu?" Abbey asked, acting as if she was trying to conceal some horrid ailment.

"I don't know Abbey. Until it goes away. Why are you being weird?"

"Because C.J you don't have a fever."

"Seriously, I don't have a fever. That's why you are worrying? I'm no medical expert but I'm pretty sure that's a positive sign."

"It's also not how the flu works. You have the flu and you should have a temperature. Are you sure it's not something else?" It seemed to C.J as though Dr. Bartlet had known the answer coming in and was giving C.J the space to figure it out.

"Something else, like what?"

"Are you…? Could you possibly be pregnant?"

C.J laughs until her eyes meets Abbey's and she realizes that the First Lady did not mean that as a joke. "No Abbey, I'm not pregnant. You actually have to have sex to get pregnant and that's been at least a month for Me."

"So?" Abbey doesn't seem any less convinced of C.J fertility.

"Abbey, that's insane. I'm not with child." And she wasn't. She couldn't be. It just wasn't true.

"Insane perhaps, but not impossible. When was your period?"

All of a sudden, C.J froze. When was her last period? She had been so caught up in the State of The Union and the President's flu that she hadn't really been paying attention. It had briefly crossed her mind once but she blamed it on all the stress from work. But no, she couldn't be… pregnant? It was a one-night stand and she had been careful. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach as if check that her stomach hadn't suddenly doubled in size.

"Much too long ago."

-

I hope you have all enjoyed my first chapter. I will admit that I can be a slow updater but reviews both remind and encourage me so feel free to do so.

Love to you all xoxo 


	2. Chapter 2

**Not mine.**

She's pregnant.

She undeniably, definitely pregnant.

Well, when she fainted she could have hit her head harder than she thought and she might not actually be sitting on the floor of the First Ladies bathroom with multiple positive pregnancy tests staring up at accusingly.

When Abbey had offered (well not so much as offered but demanded) to help C. J. find out if she was in fact with child or not there had been a hope in the Press Secretary's mind that she wasn't. That she could join the First Lady on this weird adventure, find out that it was all a bout of influenza driven craziness and never spoken about it again.

Not now though. Now she was about eight months away from having that bout of craziness bundles in her arms. With a name and 10 fingers and toes. When C. J. had gone to that bar to forget all that had been going on in her life she hadn't expected to leave that man's bed with anything other than an orgasm. Now she was expected to have a child.

"You'll need to see a doctor. I mean, I would do it but I'm not an OBGYN and it's probably best that you go to one of them for the duration of the pregnancy. I'll be happy to come to your appointment though and I'll prescribe some vitamins. All of that sort of thing." Abbey suddenly brought C. J. out of her thoughts. There was so much to be done. She didn't where to start or what to do. She wasn't ready to be a mother. Let alone a single one.

"I-I can't do this Mrs. Bartlet. I can't- I'm not a mother." C.J. has not been the kind of child that was much afraid of anything. She was born fearless, born daring and it was something that both her parents and encouraged when she was a young girl. But right now, staring into Abbey Bartlet's eyes, she had never felt more scared or inadequate in her life. "Kids need consistency and time and all thing that I can't deliver."

"Yes, you can Claudia Jean. You can do this," Abbey stated, with a conviction that C.J. just did not feel.

"No Abbey, I really, really can't. I live in a tiny apartment that I barely see as it is. I live in my office. I live for my job. I-I don't have the time for a child. Let alone- I mean… this child wasn't exactly conceived in the greatest circumstances. I had a one night stand with someone who I'll never be able to track down." C. J. didn't want to admit how ashamed she was of that last thing. She was all for women's liberation and she was certainly no stranger to the occasional one nightstand but for that to be how she made her baby? To never be able to give her child the kind of father that she had grown up with? She knew what it was like to grow up with a parent that wasn't really yours and she had no plans to make her future child go through that. "I could barely do this with someone Abbey. I certainly can't do this alone."

Silence descended the pair as Abbey tried to form her words. Surely C. J. knew that she wasn't going to be alone in this? She would have the Bartlets at her beck and call as well as the entire West Wing staff. "I wish you knew how not alone you are, C.J. dear. You have me and you have Jed and you have all of the Senior Staff. You are loved and you are cared for and so will your baby. I will be there for doctor appointment and advice and… you might not have your actual mother around but you have me. You'll always, always have me."

Silence fell once again.

Abbey hoped that with time C. J. would see how much they all really loved her. Over the cause of the campaign she had become an almost fourth daughter to her and Jed. She had broken through the Bartlet walls in a way that no one else in the senior staff had managed to do. Abbey had often felt that they were Leo's guys who had answered his call to serve the President. Whereas she felt that C. J. was Jed's through and through.

"I don't know the first thing about babies… or kids for that matter. I mean I know that when you heat milk to put it on your wrist to make sure it's not to hot for the baby but other than that… other than that tiny, insignificant fact I know nothing. Nada. Zilch." The way C. J. said made Abbey hope that the younger woman was coming around. That as odd as it would sound in her head for the next while, in her heart the title Mom sounded right.

"I didn't know anything either. There are a lot of books though and you have me and well… frankly there's a lot you learn on the job."

"I can't do this by myself Abbey." The First Lady wrapped her arm around C.J.'s back and gave her a squeeze. She felt that same bubble of excitement in her stomach that she had felt when Elizabeth had told her of her pregnancy 12 years previously. As far as she was concerned this little peanut sized being in currently nestled in C.J. stomach was her newest grandchild.

"Good thing you aren't alone then. Good thing you've got us."

/ / / / /

She spend the afternoon sitting in the doctors office with Abbey.

"What good is being a doctor and the First Lady if you can't even see a doctor without waiting?" Abbey complains. It's been years since she'd had to wait for anyone but her husband and although she usually she was patient this was her grandbaby and she wasn't getting any second rate treatment.

C. J. however wasn't listening. She was currently texting people back in the office trying to keep up with all the work that she was missing whilst being out of the office. They knew that she was sick and that she was getting a blood test but no one other than Abbey had even an inkling of the bigger picture. She wasn't sure she was ready to tell them. Especially not without having even been to see a doctor yet.

She really wasn't sure how she was going to do her job whilst having a baby. She can barely keep after taking an emergency day off to see the doctor let alone maternity leave and just generally working hours that's conducive for having kids. She isn't ready to quit though. This job is her dream, her chance to create good in the world the way she had envisioned at Berkeley. To give that up, even for her child, seemed like a sacrifice that she would regret. Unfortunately she knew that her choice might have been out of her hands.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Kelly. I'm so sorry that I made you wait at all. We thought you would want complete privacy Mrs. Bartlet and it took longer than we thought to clear out the practice." The doctor pulled her out of her thoughts and broke off the diatribe Mrs. Bartlet had started regarding the lateness of the doctor and how she never made people wait this long.

"That all right, I suppose. I am just worried because Claudia here fainted earlier today and after taking multiple positive pregnancy tests it was clear that she needed to see a doctor." Abbey was talking a mile a minute trying to give the doctor the story so that C. J. didn't have to. It was hard enough to say this all to Abbey let alone saying to it people she didn't even know yet. She is pregnant. The words felt weird formed in her mouth.

"And you were right to do so. We are honored that such a prestigious doctor as you would come to me," Dr. Kelly praised, already warming herself up to Abbey Bartlet. It was clear to the doctor that the First Lady would be an active participant in this pregnancy and even if she wasn't she was still the First Lady. "Now, let's get the patient on the bed."

Within a few minutes C. J. was lying on the bed with her stomach exposed ready to put some of the jelly on for the ultrasound. The balm was surprisingly warm and not as uncomfortable as she had expected.

"I heated it up," Dr. Kelly explained as she saw her patient tighten and then relax when the gel was put on her stomach. "When I had my first child I hated how cold it was so I thought I could fix that for my patients." It was another 10 seconds before the doctor directed them both to look at the screen. Abbey immediately knew what to look for but for C. J. it took a second.

It was her baby.

Suddenly all the doubt faded away as she looked at the tiny, barely 3cm blob that was safely ensconced in her womb. She was sure that the reservations and insecurities would return but for now she was just filled with love. For just this moment it easy to forget about life and love and complications too twisted to fix. She forgot about her job, about Danny, about explaining this to President, about explaining this to the world. Right now she had someone who relied on her. Another person who him to provide for, to support, to love.

"Goodness Abbey, that's my little baby."

And her heart grew a thousand times more.

/ / / / / 

For some unforeseeable reason C. J. agrees to have dinner in the Residency. She doesn't really want to eat, the violent summersaults in her stomach having returned, but she also doesn't want to be alone. Being alone right now with her thoughts and her fears mixed in with all the love that she has in her heart might be too much.

"You should tell Jed tonight, dear."

C. J. coughed up the water that she had been drinking. It hadn't even been 12 hours since she'd found out this news and she wasn't even sure how to say it out loud to herself. She didn't have the words or the vocabulary to explain all that she was feeling. How was she to tell the President of the United States all that was going on? As far as he was concerned, one of his favorite employees had been rushed to the doctor due to a bad case of the flu. "I-I can't Abbey. I can barely say it myself."

"You need to tell him C. J. Forgetting for a second that he's your boss and you need to seriously start taking a lighter load, Jed is your friend, he is your family. He would want to know." C. J. didn't want to tell Abbey the real reason to do with her hesitation. The President was such a deeply religious man and she was hesitant to tell him that one night she was miserable and horny and since she couldn't have the particular journalist that she wanted to she got all liquored up and slept with one of the first men that gave her a second look.

"I don't- I don't want him to be disappointed in me." It was a hard truth to face and even a harder one to express to Abbey. She loved the Bartlets deeply and she knew that she was going to need their love and support coming up and she wasn't sure what she would do if Jed was upset.

"You are like a daughter to him, C. J. You could never disappoint him," Abbey promised giving the younger women a very pointed look. "You can wait until after dinner but you really should tell him."

C.J., wanting to put things of as usual, did wait until after dinner. The President had been surprised to see his Press Secretary at his dinner table but happily so. It wasn't often that he got to spend time with her that wasn't to do with their jobs or how to mitigate a scandal so it nice just to sit down and have a meal with her.

He wasn't the President for nothing though and he was very aware that something was up. He had heard about her passing out earlier that day and rumors of her spending the day with the First Lady had been flying around thick and fast through the office. Now she was over for dinner where they were eating a bland dish of rice and chicken. He hoped beyond all hope that she wasn't seriously ill. It would be a touch of the flu and that was it and it was anything more than he would have the greatest doctor in the world there at the White House by morning.

"Urgh Sir, I have some news to share with you." C.J. tried to smile but she couldn't quite bring herself to do so. The importance of the discussion she was about to have with a man she greatly respected was almost discouraging her, making her want to run away or vomit. Probably both. "You would have heard, I passed out today and so the First Lady took me to see a doctor and well…" She wasn't sure how to say it. She hadn't said it out loud many times to herself let alone other people.

"Just say it Claudia. Whatever it is we'll deal with it." It was bad. That was all Jed could feel. It was going to be something bad.

"I'm pregnant."

"That's fine. We'll find someone who can- wait pregnant?"

She couldn't be.

He wasn't ever aware that she was seeing someone. Well, she still could have been. He had never been very active in their private lives other than making sure that she wasn't with some deadbeat loser who was just looking to score and scurry.

"Yes, she's having a baby, Jed," Abbey said, a large smile gracing her face. She was so excited to be a grandmother to another child that she could barely rein it in. Her mind was already full of images of dollhouses and clothing and toys that she could get the little being that had stolen a piece of her heart. "Isn't that good news?"

"I'm shocked. Who's the father?" Suddenly the smiles faded and the room went tense. Jed had a terrible feeling he knew what was about to be said. "What is it?"

"The father won't be involved in the child life. It'll just be me. I'll be a single parent. It'll be hard but after conferring with Abbey, I know that I can do it." And now she was surer that she could now. She knows that she's still the Queen of all screw ups and that all of this could very well go wrong but from the moment she saw her baby she felt likes she been on more solid ground.

"It's not that damn Concannon's kid it is? He'd be just the type to leave a pregnant woman hanging. What kind of man-"

She cuts him off before he can say anymore. "It's not his. It was one night and I made a mistake and this is what I have. I don't know him and… look I have to do this alone." She stops talking and lets that soak in. All the doubt quickly comes rushing back. "I don't know how I will do it but I have to. Even if that means you need me to resign."  
Silence engulfed the room. The last thing she wanted was to stop working for the President but if it was what was best the administration and her child then that is what she would do.

"Alright," The President finally said. "You won't be resigning. We'll figure it all out but that is not happening." He meant it to. It perhaps wasn't the way he would have liked it to happen and he much preferred children to have two parents but if someone could it was C. J. Cregg. "Congratulations, Claudia Jean."

"I don't know what I'm doing. My little baby won't have a father and I feel… having one parent was hard for me."

"You are right," Jed admitted, looking at the woman who was struggling to keep all her emotions in. "It won't. But the baby is going to have one of the best mother's in the entire world. And you have us. That is just going to have to do. It'll work out C.J. I'll make sure of it." 

C. J. ignored both of their invitations to stay the night. She might have been pregnant and rather scared but she wasn't an invalid and she needed to be at home. She needed clean clothes, a shower and her very own bed.

If she was going to face tomorrow and tell her friends about her sudden change in future then she was going to need all the sleep that she could get.

 **Okay, how was that? This chapter was a lot longer than the first and I'm hoping the rest of the chapters will be this length. Anyway, let me know what you think? I know not much about pregnancy so hopefully it's not totally stupid.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Big shout out to Stacy who I could not do this without or at least it would it multiple different tenses so it would be nowhere near as good. Love you Stacy 3**

 **I don't own this show or we would have at least found out the name of C.J.'s child.**

 **Chapter 3.**

As Josh parked himself on C. J.'s couch, he can't help but be disappointed in himself for not doing this yesterday morning.

He could tell as soon as she arrived that something was wrong. It was mixture of the bags under her eyes, and the way she dragged her feet that set him off. At first, he thought it was just a late night, but C. J. always had late night and never did she come into the office looking like she'd spent all night outside in the cold. Josh knows that he can be obtuse, that usually he's the last person to realize anything like this with anyone until Donna hits him over the head with information like a mallet; this isn't anyone though, this is C. J. and he can tell that something is dreadfully wrong. No one faints for just any reason.

He is determined now to find out what it is, so he can be there for her. He knows that C. J. doesn't have many people in her life. She has brothers, a niece and an aging father, but she doesn't have someone to go to if she really needs help. Then again knowing C. J. she doesn't have anyone to notice something is wrong, and then force her to come clean. So, that's what he is doing. He's sitting in her office until she arrives, and he's going to make her tell him what the doctor that she must have seen yesterday said. 

/ / / /

C. J. had experienced an awful night.

Vomit. Vomit. Vomit.

Whenever she seemed to begin to doze off her stomach turned and she regurgitated what little food she had eaten for dinner the previous night. She would have loved to take the day off and just sleep, but she also knew that she was going to be needed in the office that day and could not afford the luxury.

She had hoped, though, that when she arrived at her office she could close her blinds and take a quick half hour nap. That way, people wouldn't be suspicious of her arriving late and she could get in a quick power nap to get her through. Unfortunately for her though when she arrived she found Josh waiting impatiently in her chair. 

"Joshua, what can I do for you? Make it fast. I have that PBS meeting with Toby and then the Lydell's are coming in." Without her usual double shot of coffee she was completely underprepared to face a morning banter session with the Deputy COS.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Do you want to tell me what's going on Josh? I don't remember killing someone last night," C. J. asked, looking up at her friend. She was taken aback by the stricken look on his face. He couldn't know that she was pregnant, and there really wasn't anything she could think of that she'd done to piss him off like this.

"You look like shit," he said, his voice being raised.

"Well, thank you, kind sir."

"You know what I mean. You're tired and clammy. You look like you need to vomit and sleep for a week. Yesterday, you passed out. I know all the signs of being sick, and I saw Dr. Bartlet whisk you away yesterday, which she would only do if she were concerned. Now tell me what is wrong?" By the time he ended his tirade, Josh's voice had gone up about ten octaves. Much louder than C. J. appreciated whilst she's trying to keep her pregnancy under wraps.

"I'm not sick, Josh." And she wasn't. Not really. She had a small creature living in her womb, who was taking all her nutrients whilst making her regurgitate all foods, but she isn't technically ill.

"I know sickness when I see it Claudia Jean. My dad had that same look in his eye…"

"I'm not sick." Despite her attempt he still kept going.

"…The week leading up to telling me about his cancer. Now whatever it is, we can fix it. I promise that…"

"I'm not sick, and could you please keep it down?"

"…I will be there for whatever you need, whenever you need. You don't need to be so strong for us…"

"I'm pregnant, you idiot."

"…We'll have the best doctors at your disposa- wait what?" He could nto have just heard what he thought he had heard.

"I'm pregnant. I found out yesterday when Abbey whisked me away. I was going to tell you but I needed some more time and I thought I should tell Leo first as he is my boss." Apparently, she had just said what he thought she said. Pregnant. C.J. The words didn't seem to make sense together. 

"Woah."

"That's all you have to say. A second ago you were telling me that you would be there for me in my time of need and that you'll find me world-class doctors. Now you are silent?" C. J. wasn't sure how Josh was digesting the new of her impending motherhood but she hoped it was well. After all the things that Abbey had told her last night she had realized how much she was truly going to need her best friends. Not just for logistical reasons but for moral support. People to hold her hand when single motherhood got hard.

"Well, I'm just… very shocked. I'm mean… you're pregnant." C. J.'s face fell at his answer and tears began to well up in her eyes. She'd never really been a crier, but with the hormones that are racing through her body she couldn't help but get emotional. "I can't wait to see you get fat." Josh added.

"What?" That was not what she had expected him to say.

"Yeah, I mean this is great news. I thought you were going to be dying or something. I was think brain tumor or breast cancer or something _awful._ This is certainly not awful." In fact, Josh was rather happy for her. She deserved something good in her life and although it would be time consuming he knew that they would figure it out. "I didn't realize you were even seeing someone though."

"I'm not."

"I don't get it. You're pregnant."

"Yeah, you see it was a one-night stand and that's all I'm gonna say on the matter." If the President was like a second father then Josh was like another brother and one of the last things she wanted to discuss with him was her sex life.

"More than enough said." They had both fallen into a comfortable silence as C.J. joined her co-worker on the couch. She felt better after she told him. She was still scared and she still didn't know how she was going to tell everyone else, but at least she had shared the weight on her shoulders with Josh. "Do you want a hug?"

"Alright," C. J. replied, falling sideways into one of her closest friends. She enjoyed it for a second, the fear of everything to come subsiding for a mere second, but then she realized that she had been lying on her couch hugging Joshua Lyman.

"Does this feel good to you?" He could clearly feel the awkwardness that, as two people who have never been and probably never would be huggers, enveloped them.

C. J. pushed herself back up and on her original side of the couch. "Let's not do that for a long time, Joshua."

She felt him nodding in agreement. "Got it," he said as he stood up and got ready to leave, but not without a special spring in his step. He was going to be an uncle and sure maybe he couldn't tell anyone, but he knows and for now that's be enough. Plus, his competitive hackles were always ready to be raised and he would always be glad that he was the first senior staffer to know. "See you at Senior Staff in 10."

He gave her one last smile and wink before making his way back to his office.

/ / / / / / / /

As Josh barged into his office, he was probably more surprised than he should've been to see Sam waiting there. He tried to wipe the smile of his face, but even he can tell that he's not being very successful. Whilst he's generally a happy guy he could only expect Sam to be confused as to why he's got an almost manic glint in his eye.

"What's up with you?" Sam questioned him.

"Nothing. Why would you think there's something wrong?" He answered entirely too quickly and with an edge of paranoia for anyone, let alone his best friend to believe him.

"Something is up? You are much too happy for a Tuesday morning and especially seeing as you just left C.J.'s office. Usually if you are with her this early in the morning you've done something wrong and she's chewing you out for it," Sam argued back. It was clear that something was going on and he was determined to find out what it was. "Come on. You can tell me."

"It's classified." It seemed to Josh like the perfect line. C. J. would consider it currently classified and surely Sam wouldn't question the idea that he was speaking to the Press Secretary about some sort of military action. "We should get going," he added looking at his watch and stood up. "We have Senior Staff in a few."

"We basically have the same level of clearance," Sam pointed out as he followed Josh to Leo's office. Clearly he was not buying what Josh was selling. Not that Josh was giving up the secret any time soon. He'd seen C. J. angry before, hell he'd had C. J. be angry at him before, and he had no wish to have that happen again.

" _Basically_ the same level is not the same level."

"Never does C. J. find something out before I do. If she has to speak about it then I'll be needed to write a speech about it." It was times like these that Josh wished he worked with bigger idiots.

"Well, I don't know what to say other than that it-"

"-it's _classified_ ," cut in Sam stopping Josh at the door to Leo's office. 

"Look, we have bigger fish to fry today than whatever C.J. was blabbing to me about. I need you to be focused so that you can save my ass in front of Bruno today." And with that last comment Josh hurried them into the daily senior staff meeting.

/ / / / / /

C. J. tried to listen during the Senior Staff meeting, she really did, but she felt herself zoning out almost constantly. Her stomach had begun the unpleasant sensation of rolling just ten minutes ago, and she was afraid that she might actually vomit in front of everyone. She had already passed out on national television just 24 hours previously and she had no plans to put herself up for show again this soon.

"Anything else?" Leo asked.

C. J. forced herself to pay attention when she realized the meeting about to come to an end, and she hadn't heard a word of what anyone was saying.

"Josh has a _classified_ secret that he won't tell me about, but whatever… it's not like I wanted to be kept in the loop," complained Sam.

C. J. wasn't sure if she should feel surprised or not that Josh had yet to blow her secret. It'd been only about 15 minutes since he was told, but, on the other hand, it _was_ Josh and secret keeping that didn't involve bomb and international warfare, had never been his strong suit.

"It _is_ classified." It was only really classified for her doctor, but C.J. appreciated Josh's lie.

"All right, everyone get out and squabble somewhere that isn't my office. Except you, C.J., I need to talk to you," Leo complained, sending everyone out of the room. 

Once everyone left, C.J. turned to Leo. "What is it Boss?" she asked him trying to not to show him that she was at all worried. She knew the time had come to tell him, but after only having digested this herself for one night, she really wasn't ready to tell him. "What did you need?"

Leo removed his reading glasses and sighed, "You passed out yesterday, spent the day with Abbey, and then she asked me not to overwork you, so I need answers."

"I don't know what you mean?" Denial had always been C.J.'s first response. 

"I mean, that I need to know whatever Abbey and Josh know. You clearly aren't deathly ill, or Abbey would have you in hospital, and Josh would be in shock and we've all seen him in shock. This isn't what he looks like." 

"There isn't anything wrong." And there wasn't really. Her baby might be unplanned and she might be unprepared, but her baby wasn't _bad._

"C.J." he said with a slightly sharper edge to his voice. "Do I seem like a man who was born yesterday? Give me the damn information."

"I'm pregnant." C.J. blurted out without much of a warning.

She didn't remember the last time a room felt so quiet. Leo's face began to form an expression that was clearly of disbelief of what he was hearing and quite possibly disappointment. She knew that he wouldn't be please. After all, he was never a man who allowed personal business in the office. But, after speaking to the Bartlets and speaking to Josh, she had hoped differently.

"What do you mean you're pregnant?" He demanded when he regained coherent speaking skills.

She expected him to blow up and she might have found that more comforting. She could do battle or she could receive comfort, but this no-man's-land that his silence lived in was more uncomfortable than anything else. C.J. sighed, "After I collapsed yesterday, Abbey made me go to the doctor and we found out that… I am with child."

"I knew he'd be trouble. I knew that you wouldn't be able to control it," Leo muttered, almost to himself. It was at that comment that C.J. felt genuine anger rising

"I know what you are talking about but you are wrong. Nothing has happened between Danny and myself." She already knew what the press would say about her. They'd point out that she's unwed, that it was unplanned and that, as the face of the administration, she should know better and whilst she'd swallow that because she has no other choice, she refused to allow the people in her office to call her unprofessional. Not after the long days and lonely nights, and how she's done nothing but given Danny the rare kiss.

"He's not the father. This child will have no father." C.J. snapped at her boss.

Deep down, in a place that was almost hidden from her, she kind of wished that Danny was the father. She loved the President and wanted to work hard for this administration, but her heart had been hurting lately and she's almost sure that Danny could be the antidote. She'd never know though, because as she could see by the look on Leo's face, that a relationship between the two would end in nothing but terminated employment.

"Pretending for a second that I believe you why would you think that, that option is any better. An unwed mother? Are you _working_ for the Republicans now?"

At that point it was all she could do not to pick up the closest object to her and throw it at him. She could hear _'don't let your blood pressure get too high'_ ring thorough her head in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Abbey and she knew that she needed a break. So without listening to her boss anymore she left his office and headed for the peaceful sanctuary that was her own.

/ / / / / /

It turned out her office was anything _but_ a peaceful option. As soon as she stepped inside Toby and Sam accosted her about why she had stormed out of Leo's office and why Josh was being so odd. 

"We're just worried about you is all," Sam told her, "you look pale and like you want to throw up."

"Funny how, when I'm looking at your face, Samuel, I suddenly feel the need to vomit, isn't it?" C.J. shot back.

If this was how they treating her when they assumed she had the flu, then she really did not want to tell them about the baby. She refused to be treated with kid gloves, like she was some sort of invalid. "Now seeing as there is nothing going on, can you both please kindly leave my office so I can go brief?"

"You look like shit, C. J.," Toby told her truthfully.

She was sure she didn't look great. A mixture of not washing her hair, a lack of sleep and the near constant state of nausea definitely wasn't giving her a supermodel complexion but she still took offence at Toby's comment, and her sarcastic response showed it, "Thank you Tobias. The girls love to hear that."

"You know what I mean. Just tell us what's wrong?"

" _Nothing_ is wrong. Why does everyone assume that because I could look better that I am dying?" She asked rhetorically, her voice getting louder and louder to the point where she was basically yelling. "And even if something was wrong stop treating me like porcelain and let me figure it out on my own!"

"I'm not treating you like porcelain, you just look like you are dying…"

"…And we're worried," Sam tried to add quickly, but it was covered over by C.J. yelling. 

"WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT?" she screamed in frustration. It wasn't like her to lose her cool like that. She was usually, generally somewhat level headed. However between everyone telling her how awful she looked, and the way Leo looked at her, she was beginning to crack. "I'm not dying, I'm just goddamn pregnant!"

Shocked that she had just screamed that for the entire West Wing to hear that she grabbed her briefing folder and made a hasty exit with nothing but a quick, "I have to brief, I don't have fucking time for this" as she departed.

This was not turning out to be a brilliant day.

/ / / / /

Despite her best effort to keep her cool she blows up in the morning briefing. It's nothing calamitous. She doesn't tell the press to go fuck themselves, although she'd like to today, but she was clearly on edge and they can clearly feel the tension. She'd always been good at compartmentalizing; at walking onto this stage of hers and forgetting what was going on in her life long enough to give them the news.

Not today though.

When everyone in the press room is appropriately scared off, she ended the briefing and marched back to her office. What she really needed was to lock her office door and lay down on her couch, take a short break. To finally have a chance to catch her breath and figure this all out on her own.

That's why when she saw that Danny was in her office, she was less than pleased. "Why does no one seem to see my office is private? This is not some communal hang out space for any one, let alone the press."

"Are you okay, C.J.?" She could see the worry in his eyes and for a split second, she considered telling him the truth. That she wass pregnant, scared and that Abbey had _promised_ her that the Senior Staff would be there for her. She can't though, because he was still the press and everyone would actually kill her.

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem it," he disagreed, taking a couple of steps close to her.

She needed him to not come any closer though or she couldn't be held responsible for what would happen. She's always so in control, but around him she seemed to just unravel. "Well, I am."

"You might want to say it like you mean it when talking to everyone else," he suggested, taking another few closer, this time clearly violating any personal space rules.

She could feel his breath on her face and she knew what was going to happen a second before it did. Danny's lips were soft and warm on her own and before he can pull away she dropped her briefing folder and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss that started off slow and exploratory had become frantic and needy. Like she was trying to kiss away all the unhappiness she had been feeling and replace it with Danny's sheer _happiness._

It took her another minute and a lack of oxygen before she pulled away and realized what she'd done. Sure, before yesterday kissing Danny occasionally was one thing, but kissing him now was totally another. With a panicked look in her eyes and the memory that she was pregnant and _he's not the father_ running through her mind… C.J. took off, running out of her own office and leaving behind a stunned Danny.

God, she really _needed_ to find Abbey.

 **I hope you liked that! Sorry, it took so long but I was finishing uni for the year and moving house and it was utter chaos. Anyway send me a review and I'll get starting on the next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone! I am so sorry this took so long. My grandfather passed away and I just lost my muse for a while.

-

When she walked up to the First Lady's sitting room and found Abbey already sitting there with a pint of ice cream, she had never more grateful for her friend.

"I thought you might be needing this," Abbey said offering her up a spoon and a seat for the young woman.

"Yeah, well, seeing as wine is unavailable," she moaned gesturing to her stomach before flopping down on the couch beside Abbey. It had been a long and weird morning for her and as much as she knew her stomach would revolt sooner or later chocolate ice cream seemed like it would be the only available cure.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" Abbey prompted. She had been told by one of her White House spies that there had been a blow up in the Senior Staff bullpen and that it had ended with a frazzled C. J. storming out of her office and away from everyone else. She felt honored that the usually closely guarded Press Secretary had come to her when she needed comfort.

"Not really." All she really wanted to do was sit in silence. She didn't want to chat about Leo's disapproval and she really, really didn't want to chat about her and Danny kisses. Their hot, toe curling, soft kisses. The kind of kisses that made her want to say 'fuck it', push him backward on the couch and have her way with him.

"But you will…" Abbey pushed, her voice a special mixture of being gentle and stern that came with motherhood.

"I umm… _told_ everyone that I was pregnant."

"Oh." C. J. defeated tone made it clear how that had gone. As much as Abbey would have loved to act on the bubble of anger that growing in the pit of her stomach she knew that the girl beside her needed her support more than anything else. "What happened?"

"It-it was fine. I mean it's big news and I wasn't expecting to have it welcomed with a marching band and support." Despite her words Abbey knew that C. J. had expected _some_ support. The type of support that went above work commitments and into the realm of friendship. "Josh was pretty happy for me though."

"What did they say C. J?" Abbey asked, her voice slightly raised at the end. "As for Josh, he'll make an excellent uncle I feel."

"Not much really. There were just a lot of mentions about how awful I looked and Leo might have said that he knew I would never be able to control myself around _him_ and then he accused me of working for the Republicans," she sped through the accusations and comments before taking a big mouthful of ice cream. She didn't really want to relive the rather crushing moment.

The woman sitting beside her however saw red. She had called Leo early that morning so that could lay off the stress and work that C. J. faced every day. Abbey wasn't a naïve idiot; she knew that C. J. would have to face a certain amount of stress throughout the duration of the pregnancy but the First Lady had hoped to keep it minimal whilst she was trying to digest the news and tell everyone. How dare Leo say the things to her that he had? Abbey wanted nothing more than to blast the man but she knew that it would do nothing but harm Claudia Jean and that was the very last thing that she wanted to do.

There was something else though in C.J. murmur that caught the First Lady's attention.

"Who is the him that you supposedly can't keep your self control around?" Abbey had an idea but she rather wanted C. J. to confirm it.

"Damn, I can't believe I slipped like that," C. J. complained more to herself than her companion. "Danny, he meant Danny Concannon."

"The reporter?"

"You know exactly who I'm talking about and you knew who Leo was talking about before you bothered to ask me that question," C. J. said fiercely.

"Your veiled accusation that I was fishing for information is borderline offensive."

"It wasn't veiled and I'm sorry it was only borderline."

"Rude girl," Abbey said a small smile playing on her lips. "However in that case, tell me what is going on there?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"Now, I find _that_ offensive."

"I'm finding your deliberate attempt to lie and not tell me information when I'm here to help you offensive."

" _Fine,_ we kissed," C. J. admitted, hiding her face in the pint of ice cream. "That's it though. We kissed in my office."

"Well, that answers my next few questions."

"Good, then we can move on."

"Not that fast, missy. Why have you _only_ kissed?"

"You've got to be kidding me right?" C.J. didn't have the time to list every reason that she and Danny was not an item. "There is a long and varied listing describing all the way that we would not work. His and my job being right at the top."

"What was the kiss like?"

"I don't know," C.J. answered sure that this was some sort of trick of Abbey's.

"Yes, you do," Abbey countered. "How did it feel?"

"It felt… gentle," C.J. said uncertain of what was too much to say yet strangely wanting to tell Abbey the truth. "Yet at the same time passionate. Like he was still learning how to kiss someone new but an avid student. I don't know. It was warm and soft and rushed and a million things all at once."

" _I_ think that you really rather like him." Abbey was probably right, C.J. admitted to herself. She really did rather like him but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that kissing was never enough for either of them but more just wasn't available. She knew that lots of people would never understand but her job, before she found out about the baby she was carrying, was the most important thing to her. It's hard to explain to people what an election like that does. It bonded her not just to the fight but to the people she was fighting along side and for and she couldn't leave her job and she could never ask Danny to because writing was his passion… and it was just clearly all so much more than if she liked him enough or not.

"It's really not that, Abbey," C.J. lied unwilling and unable to articulate her real feelings to others, even the First Lady. "I-I wanted to kiss him to get it out of my system. It's done now. We are done now."

"Did you tell him about the baby?"

"Did I tell a White House reporter about the baby? No, I decided that I wanted to keep my job."

"I don't think that's why you haven't told him?"

"What other reason could there possibly be?"

"I don't know exactly but I think the key to your overall happiness is figuring that out. Maybe it is because it would endanger your job or maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe you didn't tell him because it meant he'd know you'd been with another man and you aren't ready to possible lose him for good."

C. J. didn't have a chance to rebuttal because her stomach gave one more uncomfortable roll and she lost the small amount of ice cream she had eaten that morning.

 _"Did you tell him about the baby?"_

Abbey's words played through C.J's mind all morning and late into the afternoon. She should tell Danny and she wasn't sure why she hadn't already. Any time she had ever really needed him he had always been there and she was grateful for that but those times were positively different. Those times were not her having a child with a man that nobody, even her really knew.

Because it seemed she had the worst luck of any one else in the country her thought were brought out by the man himself. "How are you C.J.?"

"I'm fine." She didn't allow any emotion into her voice. She knew it would have been the perfect time to tell him, that he was giving her an opportunity to explain herself but she found when push came to shove she just couldn't.

She would eventually, knew she needed to but it was a lot harder then what she thought it would be. "You aren't alright but I'll let that go for now because I have a story and I would like a White House comment."

"What's the story?" She could tell that did not know of her pregnancy which was a relief but she also knew that whatever story he did have would not one to flatter the administration.

"I want the truth about the Lowell's. They don't like the new law and I don't know if their embarrassed of the son or the President but I do know they'll talk to me. I'm giving you the chance to get in first."

This was the last story that she wanted out there.

"I'm pregnant." Apparently it _was_ the very, very last story that she wanted out there.

"Nice try C.J. but I'm not that easy to fool, baby."

"Evidently you are since in 8 months I am having a child." She wished that he would just believe her. It was hard enough telling him let alone having to stand there and try to convince him that her words were the truth.

"Claudia Jean, are you saying this because you are telling me that you are pregnant or are you trying to distract me from the Lydell story?"

"Why can't it be both."

Suddenly all the colour drained from Danny's face as he came face to face with the unbelievable truth that the woman he was falling in love with, the woman that he kissed just hours earlier was pregnant and he was not the father.

Without thinking and without forethought Danny dropped the notes that he was holding and rushed out the door, leaving a heartbroken C.J. in his wake.

C.J. spent the next hour just sort of sitting quietly in her office. She's sure that there is something she's meant to be doing or feeling but she can't for life of her think of what. Her brain has stalled and she can't seem to push her mind past the idea that she had trusted Danny and he had left.

She should never have told him about the baby. It was no small thing and she had imagined originally that he would not take it well but never had she imagined that Danny would be so cruel to her, especially after speaking with Abbey. Not that she's sure what she really wanted from him. Sure they had kissed, more than once, but she knew now that he could never be the man that she needed or that she wanted. Her baby needed someone that could love them no matter the circumstances of their conception. With that final thought she cast away any lingering thoughts of her own sadness and picked up a paper that needed reading.

She pushes herself into work and before she knows it she's read all the papers that have been assigned to her and the clock is saying that it's a reasonable enough hour for her to return home. Her mind strays one more time to Danny and thoughts to where he might be or what he might be doing before she forces herself to stop, packs up her bad and heads out the door.

She goes home every night with the hope of cooking a proper meal but tonight she is just too tired. All she really wants to do is eat something quick and then go to bed where she can try her best to think of anything other than the events of the day. It's while she's halfway through heating up a prepackaged meal that she hears the doorbell. Unsure who it could be at this hour she opens it without hesitation.

"Hi," Danny says, putting his foot in the door before she can shut it in his face. "I brought you some food. I can't imagine how tired you must be so I figured you might not feel like cooking."

"I already have something, thank you." Short, sharp and he won't stay is all that she can think, _if he doesn't stay he won't break your heart._

"Please Claudia, just let me in. I _need_ to talk to you." She's not sure if it's being called Claudia or the way that he says need he to talk to her but either way she takes a step back and lets him in. Danny walks past her and she follows him into the kitchen silently wishing that she could wash this all away with a glass of merlot. "How are you?"

"I'm all right. Tired, always tired but I'm fine."

"That's good. I hear that tired is normal when you know- you're – well, you know…"

"When a woman is pregnant?" C. J finished for him taking the bag of food form his hands and getting two plates. "You can say the word. Pregnant. We are _all_ going to have to get use to it."

"I know," he said, defeat evident on his features.

"Do you? Because once _that_ settles in I'll have a baby. It won't be just me anymore but also a tiny, innocent baby."

" _I get it,_ C.J."

"Yeah, I know you get it. Which is why I don't get what you are doing here?" C.J yelled throwing her hands in the air. If he _got it_ so much then why was he at her house acting like they had a future. "Why are you bringing me dinner and coming over when you clearly are not in this."

"How do you know that I'm not in this?" Danny yelled right back.

"I told you that I was pregnant and you walked out. The light went out of your eyes and you just left me in that office." She turned away from him then no longer willing to talk about it. It had happened. He had left just like everyone else always did so what was the point in talking about it anymore.

"I was in shock. You had kissed me only an hour before. I'm sorry that I was in disbelief, not just because you were pregnant but because you clearly want to see other people."

"I'm not choosing to see other people. I saw one other person once and we weren't even vaguely chatting about us having something more then."

"Oh, so that makes it alright?"

"Yes, because I was not and I am not beholden to you Danny. I can sleep with whomever I like because we have never been anything." It was brutal but it was the unfortunate fact. "You want to know the truth _Daniel_? I think I love you. I really, truly do but I could not see a way for us to be together and I was lonely so I got drunk and slept with a stranger. That's what happened. That's how this little miracle came to be. I got dumb and drunk over a boy and slept with someone that'll I barely remember."

She stormed off then, charging for her room. She needed something solitary, somewhere that she could pull herself together. She was losing someone very important to her and as much as she needed to cry she'd be damned if she did in front of that very same someone. C.J was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice Danny following her.

"C.J." Danny muttered, grabbing her elbow and pulling her to face him. "I love you too," he added pulling her even closer to him and kissing her. "I love you so much."

She pushed him away only see a look in his eyes that she was becoming more and more familiar with as the days past; desire. She pulls him back towards her and he kisses her with the kind of passion that all through her college years she would have dies for. The kind of kisses that had always, ever since she finished high school and left Dayton, been her kryptonite. She let him kiss her until she forgot that she was pregnant, until she forgot that he was a Washington Post reporter, until she forgot her duty to her country.

The next morning, she wakes up to unexpected warmth on her back. Her eyes are closed but she can feel that she is lying on her side, which is yet another change from her usual sleeping patterns. So often to being alone she tends to lie diagonal. Her eyes shoot open when the night before comes back to her and suddenly the warm cocoon feels a little less sweet.

This _thing_ with Danny is the last thing that she and her child needs. She is meant to provide a stable life for the little person growing inside of her and this relationship with Danny seems to be the exact opposite of that, as of late. She wants to be in denial, to close her eyes and pretend that she didn't have sex with a man who 12 hours ago could not stand the sight of her, but unfortunately a now common revolt in her stomach pushed her out of bed as she rushed to the bathroom.

Unable to hear anything over the deafening sound of her retching, she was shocked to have Danny suddenly beside her. "Good morning," he said grabbing a hair tie from the bathroom sink and tying up her hair.

"Some good morning," C.J quickly muttered before she once again vomited.

"You are only meant to vomit for the first trimester right?" Danny asked. C.J gave a quick nod of her head unable to speak as she was hit by yet another wave of nausea. "Well, that's good then because I cannot take this every morning for nine months and neither could you."

With all the vomiting she had been doing it took a second for her mind to wrap itself around that last sentiment.

Nine months.

He couldn't handle it for nine months.

For a split second she wants to argue that for this child that she has come to very much love she could take anything for nine months but thinks better of it. She needs to see how much he really wants this. If he really is in it for the rest of this crazy ride or if she needs to find the emergency break and let him off.

"You were planning on seeing me through the nine months?" she says lightly, playing with the buttons on the oversized shirt she had on. Her nausea had diminished slightly and for that at least she was relieved.

"Yeah, of course. I meant what I said last night, C.J," he replied grabbing her hand and finding her eyes before repeating the words she longed to hear, "I love you too."

"I really want to kiss you again but my mouth tastes like vomit."

"How about I find you crackers or something while you brush your teeth." He kisses her on the cheek as she nods in acquiesces. She brushes her teeth as her smile broadens and wonders how on earth she'll tell Abbey the new turn of events.

This was going to be a new and interesting day. C.J. just hoped it would be a good one.

-

I hope you all enjoy that and I promise the next chapter won't be such a long wait.


End file.
